Goodbye Summer

Today is the last day of summer. Before we leave it all behind, I have to remark on two things.

One: when I made the Honeydew Lime Sorbet, I had leftover melon so I also made some popsicles. They came out very good. At least Murray thought so. Much to my chagrin, my boyfriend is one tough m.f! Just because he adores me (I think), doesn't mean that he lets me off the hook with a pat on the head and a "Yum, mint peanut berry sorbet on crackers - my favorite!" If it's crap, he'll tell me so. So when he took a bite and said, "I like these," I didn't take it lightly. I did a happy dance. Inside. Where he can't see it and realize what kind of power he wields.

Here's the recipe from the book Pops! by Krystina Castella published by the ever wonderful Chronicle Books.

Yes, I just took a picture of the recipe from the book. I'm that effin' lazy. Whatever. Did I mention that Murray liked them?

FYI, they came out looking like this:

Notice the obligatory bite out of the top so it doesn't look too much like a flight of Freudian fancy.

The second thing I'd like to mention is also on the topic of pops. We went to the Brooklyn Flea market where the chompable People's Pops were being sold. We got the cantaloupe and mint and guess what Mr. Murray said?

"Yours are better."

Awww! To be fair to the people of People's Pops, I've never made cantaloup mint. I did do the Cantaloupe Kiwi which were delightful. But were they better? Well, I don't see any reason to brag...

A knock-knock joke

Knock, knock!

Who's there?

Honey.

Honey who?

Honey, do you want some lime sorbet?

Honeydew Lime Sorbet

3 c cubed honeydew

1/2 c sugar

1/4 c boiled water

1/2 c lime juice

2 tsp grated lime peel

• Heat water and sugar until sugar dissolves.  Cool syrup to room temperature.
  
• Combine honeydew with syrup, lime juice, and lime peel in a blender.
  
• Chill for 2 hours.
  
• Freeze in ice cream maker as per manufacturer's instructions.
  

Banana Ice Cream Injector

This is real.  Well, a real patent, anyway.  There is no proof that Mr., Mrs., or perhaps Miss P. Marchio ever manufactured this tool that sucks out the insides out of a banana then fills that hollow space with ice cream.  But sincerely I hope it was made.  I also hope to receive one as a gift at my bridal shower.  That is, if I ever have a bridal shower.  Or perhaps I'll just die unloved, single, and penniless in an alley in Rego Park Queens.  Maybe I'll adopt all the neighborhood stray cats and give them names that start with J - Julie, Jennifer, Jingle Jangle, Jesus, Jewanda, Jermagesty, Joint.  Maybe I'll teach them all to ski and how to wait patiently in line at the Rego Park mental free clinic.  Wait, what was the point of this entry?  Oh, yes, the Banana Ice Cream Injector.  Clever, clever, clever indeed!

How to Make a Tiger Popsicle

Just in case you were wondering.

Earrings

Many moons ago, I had a boss who was a rabid Mets fan.  Like all Mets fans, she had endured many painfully embarrassing baseball seasons.  Also, like all Mets fans, she hated the Yankees.  I don't know ANYTHING about baseball except this: 

• If you want to be a winner, you root for the Yankees.  
• If you want to be a hater, you fall madly in love with the Mets.  

Why on earth do I bring this up?  Because one time when talking about all of us on her staff, Old Boss looked at me and said,  "I love all of you.  But I love Jodi a little bit less because she likes the Yankees."  That's sort of how I feel about these mini popsicle shaped earrings.

Adorable if you're 13 but I love them a little bit less than the popsicle shaped flash drive.

Love this! Hubby Hubby Ice Cream

Last week, Ben and Jerry's announced that in the month of September, they will be changing their flavor "Chubby Hubby" to "Hubby Hubby."   Why?  Because Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream hails from the state of Vermont and Vermont is one of the few states in the US where gays and lesbians can legally marry.  It's great to see that Ben and Jerry's supports gay people's right to be as totally boring as straight married couples.  Hooray!

Chubby Hubby consists of "fudge covered peanut butter filled pretzels in vanilla malt ice cream rippled with fudge & peanut butter."  Yes, enough of that will make your man rather, uh, round.

Since Ben and Jerry's didn't create anything for the ladies, I will offer a few humble suggestions for the wife-wife pairings of the world.

• Here Come the Brides - White chocolate ice cream with chunks of almonds, laced with coconut rippled with hazelnut-chocolate cream.
  
• Something Old, Something New, Something Sapphic, Something Blue - Old-fashioned vanilla ice cream (old) engineered to never melt (new), swirled with blueberries (blue), and a poem printed on the under side of every lid because Sappho was a poet, after all.
  
• Two Bouquets - Equal amounts of rose and lavender sorbets swirled in holy matrimony.
• Girls Gone Mild - Buttermilk ice cream, strawberries, and peach.  Comes with remote control and carpool schedule.

The altered packages of "Hubby Hubby" are only available in Vermont so if you live elsewhere, you'll have to road trip it to New England to buy a pint.  And if you do, send pictures!

I'm Melting!

As summer comes to it's end, let us look back at this ice cream season and some of the innovations that have been infused into the world of frozen treats. The big issue, apparently, is melting.  Or not melting.  This might be the new, glass half-empty, half-full sort of thing, so take your pick.  No judgments, I swear.  

I am not sure exactly when melting became a sin, a cause for alarm, a situation that begs for scientific intervention.  But alas, it can no longer be denied that we are well into what I can only assume is an ice cream crisis.  A melt-down, if you will.  

Like all food, ice cream as a temporary indulgence.  A fling not unlike a Club Med encounter with an IT guy from Detroit that you'll (hopefully) never see again.  Ice cream was never, ever meant to be marriage.  An ice pop, no matter how delicious, is a fleeting pleasure.   

The melt is just part of the whole frozen experience, the sweet memory.  But like fire, man is now seeking to control the melt.  Though I don't see people clamoring to make things that would make my life better such as the Non-Cancerous Suntan or the No-Hangover Martini, the Everlasting Sno-Cone may soon ubiquitous.  Here are the three biggest players in the frozen for life movement.

1. In June, Coldstone Creamery announced the No-Melt Ice Cream.  New York Magazine asks, "If it doesn't melt, is it still ice cream?"  Read all about it here.
2. Unilever, the largest ice cream manufacturer in the UK, shrouds their kitchen science in environmentalism.  Since their room temperature ice creams require no refrigeration, it is expending less energy during shipping as well as storage.  Impressive doublespeak, friends!  Read about it here.
3. Gelatin is what they're using to make Slow Melt Popsicles.  Keeping on the environmental tip, perhaps this could be sprinkled on the Polar ice caps, too.  Just a thought.  For some razor sharp observations on the subject, I insist you to read this post over at Bad Mommy Moments

Sundaes in New York

Check out the round up of sundaes available in New York on one of my favorite blogs, Grub Street.  Then, go ahead and dress up as a sundae then do some jazz hands.  Feels good, don't it?

Ice Cream of the Rich and Famous

Robert plants a kiss on that cone.

Ice Cream of the Rich and Famous

Rupert Grint, aka Ron Weasly, 

makes the magic happen in this Mr. Whippy van.  

Soft servicus appearacus!

Two Kiwis

I love Flight of the Conchords, the folk-comic music duo from New Zealand.  So do lots of people so that's not odd.  What is odd is how much they apparently love me.  I'm like, "Bret, Jemaine, stop trying to get my attention - I'm in a committed relationship!" But their love for me continues even though I do nothing to provoke it.

Don't believe me?  Here's the facts:

• There is a character in the show called Murray.  Not the most common name, is it?  You know who else is called Murray?  My boyfriend, that's who!  It's like their trying to see where my allegiances lie, their Murray or mine.  When the TV is on, I've looked them square in the eye and told them, "My, Murray.  Mine!" It's like their desperate or something.
• I live in Brooklyn near the Williamsburg Bridge.  Not only did they put the bridge in the opening credits of season 2, they shot a whole scene the library near my apartment.  Coincidence?  I freaking doubt it.
  

• And finally, perhaps you will recall the number "Inner City Pressure," a musical sequence in season 1 shot near an elevated train.  Was it the F train at Smith and 9th?  The 7 up Roosevelt Ave?   No, no, a thousand times no!  It was shot at the JMZ which is the train I take every blessed day.  And the stop they're at is Marcy, which is my stop.  Well, it's my stop if the J is going express.  If it's going local then my stop is Hewes, but I refused to get bogged down in the details.  It's all right there plain as day: they adore me.

Well, I don't want to lead them on or anything, so perhaps this is dangerous.  But since they've done so much for the borough of Brooklyn, I felt it only right that I honor Bret McKenzie and Jemaine Clement with a few Kiwi recipes.

Kiwi Ginger Lime Pops

1 c water

3/4 c sugar

1 tbs fresh ginger, grated

1 tsp grated lime zest

5 kiwis

1/2 c lime juice

1 egg white

• Heat water, sugar, and lime zest until sugar dissolves.  Let cool to room temperature.
  
• Strain the syrup over a sieve into a bowl
  
• Puree kiwis with lime juice then combine with egg white and syrup
• Freeze 

Because Jemaine is part European and part Maori, I thought it might be more representational if these pops were mixed.  I, too, am mixed race and I insist on cultural sensitivity at all times.

Cantaloupe Pops

1/2 c water

1/2 c sugar

1 small cantaloupe, seeded and pureed

1/4 c lemon juice

• Heat water and sugar until sugar dissolves.  Let cool to room temperature.
  
• In a blender, puree cantaloupe and lemon juice.  Set aside.
  
• Combine syrup with cantaloup mixture.  
• Freeze and share with Jemaine on your fire escape

Kiwi Sorbet

1 c water

3/4 cup super fine (caster) sugar

1 1/2 lbs kiwis

• Peel and chop kiwis.  Blend in a blender until smooth
  
• Add sugar and water
  
• Let chill at least one hour
  
• Freeze with your trusty ice cream maker as per manufacturer's instuctions
  
• Spoon feed to Bret as you wait in line at the post office

I love you, Murray!

Keep On Truckin'

In New York, multitasking on the job is usually encouraged but when cops found marajahookie and "sugar" in an ice cream truck in Long Island yesterday, well, I guess they felt differently.  

Yes, yet another popsicle pusher was arrested due to drugs.  Sadly, the only thing surprising about this arrest was that the guy wasn't selling.  He was buying.

I'm pretty sure I know why he was seeking solace in mood altering substances. The poor guy had to listen to that blasted ice cream music all day!   A person just might need a little somethin' somethin' to numb the pain of hearing Pop Goes the Weasel for the 500th time.  

Or could it be that ice cream truck drivers think the cops can't see them because they are hidden behind a throng of screaming children?  Let's see what recent history teaches us...

• In Westbury, NY, a man in an ice cream van was arrested for delivering the coco loco to a damsel in distress.
  
• In July, a pair of rocket scientists in Kansas City  offered a neighborhood dad a bong hit.
  
• Later this month, un bon vivant will appear in court in Green Bay, WI.  The charge?  Selling crack from his truck.
  

Some words of advice for people considering any of the activities described above: 

 

• You will probably get caught and when you do, you'll get more time in jail for having illegal drugs near kids. 
  
• Ice cream heals most wounds.
• The concept of selling dope from your ice mobile so cliche it was the "plot" of a Cheech and Chong movie.  

Lobster Ice Cream

My family in Alaska makes something called "fish ice cream" which is an amalgamation of whitefish, blueberries, sugar, and Crisco.  

I.  Am.  Not.  Kidding.  

If you think I am, check out this lively discussion on the subject here.

I mention this only because "lobster ice cream" has been makin' the rounds on the blogs lately.  I'm like, whatevah!  Mix some Crisco up in that piece and then we'll see what is and what isn't an "eccentric edible."  But if you'd like to give lobster ice cream a try, by all means, click here!

The Popsicle Account

How much did you love Peggy Olson's ad for the Popsicle account?  Brilliant, right?  Moms always break a Popsicle in half, she reasoned.  To Peggy, the splitting and sharing of a Popsicle is no less a ritual than those performed in the Catholic church.  

Armed with this clever comparison, she came up with this li'l staccato motto: Take it.  Break it.  Share it.  Love it.  Which, in turn, was paired with an image of one holy angel of a wife in the kitchen.  Gosh, Peggy's such a bright girl!  

A bright girl and still she found herself in the hospital with a belly ache only to learn she was pregnant and in labor - heavens!  If you're not a fan of Mad Men, you have no idea what I'm talking about but even so, enjoy the picture, 'kay?

Strawberry Rhubarb Snap

I heard this story about rhubarb the other day on NPR. This farmer in Pennsylvania says most Americans are dismissive when it comes to rhubarb. Another fellow in the story even goes as far to say, "I'll probably just buy it and let it rot in my refrigerator."

I found this outrageous! Who could be so effin' cruel as to ignore celery's red headed cousin?

"Why," I thought, "I've cooked rhubarb hundreds, well, dozens of...huh. Actually, never." Which is weird because I went through an En Vogue listening, cinched jeans wearing, pie making phase in the 90's. Surely some rhubarb must have made it into the mix. Nope. Never. Not a once. I think I was a little intimidated by it. Well, intimidation be damned!

The next day I bounced over to the Union Square green market and scored a bunch. In the radio story, the farmer says he makes a sauce with rhubarb and maple syrup then pours it on ice cream. So that's what I did. I paired it with strawberry ice cream so it would mimic the perennial favorite, strawberry rhubarb pie. Alas, something was missing.

The syrup gave the rhubarb sauce a woodsy, earthiness while the strawberries 'n cream were 100% sun-on-your-cheeks summer. It needed to come together. It needed....

A ginger snap! Et voila, harmonie!

Oh, snap.

Strawberry Rhubarb Snap

Sauce

1 c chopped rhubarb

1/4 c maple syrup (or more to taste)

1/4 c water

Place all ingredients in a saucepan and cook down until the rhubarb melts. Sauce will be slightly thick and pulpy and good. Serve with strawberry ice cream and a ginger snap.

Traditional Tuesday: Strawberry Ice Cream

This installment of Traditional Tuesday gives up the light pink love to the strawberry. This is a recipe of eggless simplicity that needs no introduction. I will say this much - this recipe guarantees friendship. I gave some to my neighbors the other day and though I don't speak Spanish and they don't speak English, it's nothing but warm fuzzy smiles in the hallway now.

Strawberry Ice Cream

1 lb fresh strawberries

1 1/2 c sugar

1 1/2 c whipping cream

1 1/2 c cold water

dash of lemon juice

• Chop cleaned strawberries into quarters.
  
• Place berries, sugar, water, and juice into a blender and blend until completely liquified.
  
• Whip cream until slightly thickened.
  
• Combine strawberry mixture with cream
  
• Freeze as indicated by the ice cream manufacturer's instructions.

It's a fact:

3 out of 4 dime store divas prefer strawberry ice cream.

Sunday Spice - Masala Chai Ice Pops

FADE IN:

INT, NIGHT, INDIAN RESTAURANT, LONDON

A small, neighborhood Indian restaurant - red tablecloths, bright lights.  RAINA, African-American, late 20's, sits at a table with her LAME EX-BOYFRIEND, British, late 30's - the kind of guy you'd look at at think, "Wow, how did he get such an awesome, nice, smart girlfriend?"  

A WAITER, East Asian, mid-40's,  in a red waiter's jacket, approaches the table, clears the remains of a thoroughly enjoyed meal.

WAITER

Can I get you anything else?

RAINA

A cup of chai, please.

WAITER

(indignant)

Chai?

RAINA

(Confused)

Yeah.  Chai. 

Waiter snatches the remaining dirty plates from the table and brusquely heads towards the kitchen. 

RAINA

What was that all about?

LAME EX-BOYFRIEND

I'm drunk.

Raina looks over at the waiter.  Dirty dishes still in hand, he has joined a group of other uniformed servers.  He shares some angry words with them then tosses his chin in her direction.  All the waiters crane their necks and look at her.

RAINA

Is it just me or do those guys hate me?

LAME EX-BOYFRIEND

I am whack and have 

nothing interesting to say.

The waiter approaches.  He slams a cup and saucer in front of Raina.  It's plain black tea with a lemon and a side of milk.  It could have come from a diner.  Waiter gives her a fake smile.

WAITER

Here's your chai.

RAINA

Oh, no.  I wanted the 

milky, you know spicy, chai.

Waiter rolls his eyes and walks away.  Raina turns to Lame Ex-Boyfriend.

RAINA

What did I do?

He doesn't answer and, without making eye contact, slowly nudges the check in her direction.

FADE OUT

That was a completely true and unbiased scene out of the movie version of the story of my life.  You know, the one that only plays on the giant screen in my head.  So, other than the obvious fact Halle Berry would be a perfect casting choice, what have we learned?  

Well, I think it's fairly obvious chai means plain ol' tea - nothing more, nothing less.  A friend's mom taught me that if I want what Americans call "chai," I have to ask for "masala chai."  That one word would have saved me so much attitude from the ENTIRE STAFF of that place.  Jeez.

On the bright side, now when I'm in an Indian restaurant in NYC and I ask for masala chai, I get mad respect. 

Anywho, today's inspiration comes not from London but from lovely, wonderful, absolutely delicous Jackson Heights, Queens where the masala chai flows like a sari.  Take the 7, E, F, or (if the stars are aligned just right) the G train to 74th and Roosevelt.  There are two spectacular East Asian markets in the vicinity: Patel Brothers and Apna Bazaar.

At Patel Brothers, I bought garam masala, star anise, and cardamom seeds.  At Apna, I got Horlicks and Digestive cookies.  Oh, the next few editions of Sunday Spice are will be cray-zay, my friends.  Cray-zay.

I used the garam masala in this recipe though I am not all together sure that is "correct."  I mean, it's my blog and I'll make mistakes if I want to but, you know, it would be nice to get it right.  Eh, all of life's an experiment and they tasted good to me, my boyfriend, and my next door neighbor, so here we go!

Masala Chai Ice Pops

3 tablespoons Garam Masala 

2 cups milk

5 tablespoons sugar

4 teaspoons loose black tea (asssam, English Breakfast, or keemun for a smokier taste)

Combine everything except the tea and bring to a boil.  
Remove from heat and add tea.
Let steep for 4 minutes.  
Strain.  
Let cool to room temp then pour into pop molds.

Rocket ice pop molds from Tovolo, cute but too phallic in photos.  So...

I had to do extreme close ups...

and eat the top before snapping these pictures.

Scoops: Stop thief!

The Turkey Hill Ice Cream company has a blog - who knew? 

Must say, it's surprisingly bueno. The Ice Cream Journal has recipes, give aways, and - this is my absolute favorite - advice! From the July 16th post:

ASK ERNIE: HOW DO I KEEP MY HUSBAND FROM STEALING MY ICE CREAM?

Question:
I love your pints, especially your Chocolate Mint Moose Tracks pints. I nibble on it a little at a time, but it never lasts more than few days because my husband always eats it all. How do I keep my husband from stealing my Moose Tracks?!

Answer:
I should preface this by saying that I’m not a professional marriage counselor, but I am an ice cream expert, so that sort of qualifies me to tackle this thorny issue.

I’ve heard of special combination locks you can put on your pints to keep would-be thieves out of your Moose Tracks, but I’m going to suggest a much more diplomatic solution here. (I’ve been married for many years, I know all about marital diplomacy!)

I’m assuming you’ve already tried talking to him about it and that hasn’t worked. Next, I’d suggest maybe buying separate containers of Moose Tracks – one for him and one for you. But I’m guessing he’d probably polish his off and move on to yours.

I guess if diplomacy doesn’t work, you could try something a little sneakier. Maybe you can store your pint inside a larger ice cream container he’s sure not to go prying into. Or bury it in the back of the freezer under some frozen peas. He’ll never look there.

High-larious! We should all

To check out the Ice Cream Journal, click here!

The Popcicle Flash Drive

uh.
may.
zing.

Popcicle hard and flash drives are here to quench the thirst of your inner Hello Kitty and I'm like, "About time!" How utterly fantastic would it be if you showed up to some high powered presentation or another and butst this out of your briefcase? Nobody in the coorporate world would ever take you seriously again. And perhaps that's okay.

Scoops: Ice Cream on the Move

Two very exciting bits of news in the world of the ice cream mobility today.

Uno - Diary of a Wimpy Kid, a series hilarious of comic novels for young readers, is doing a promotion from an ice cream truck. Jealous! Read about it here.

Dos - The man made extravaganza known as Water Taxi Beach (djs, bands, sun, fun) on Governor's Island will now be graced with ice cream tricycles, courtesy of Blue Marble. Read more here.

Interesting note - The city of New York bought Governor's Island for one dollar from the federal government. Yes, the ice cream costs more than the island. I feel there is some sort of parable, some hidden lesson in this. I'm just not sure what it is...